10 Secret Confessions of the Super Affiliates

1. What they say – I make $100K per month in PPC Marketing with Copeac !
   What they really mean – I still live with my mom and dad because I spend all of my money on $350 an ounce hydroponic weed.
2. What they say – Look at this payment proof picture of my earnings check !
   What they really mean – My little sister in middle school is really good at Photoshop and I had here chop this picture for me.
3. What they say – Affiliate marketing pays my bills and then some !
   What they really mean – In reality, I have no bills (see #1) because I live in my parents basement.
4. What they say – I bought a Lexus from PPC marketing and now all the girls at school want to ride to lunch with me !
   What they really mean – I have a small penis but I bought a penis extender kit and a bottle of Viagra from some Russian spam email.
5. What they say – You can get rich like me if you follow my “Super Affiliate” techniques !
   What they really mean – Somebody please buy my e-book on clickbank because I’m running low on hydroponic weed that I need to be stoned to come up with crazy ideas for my new e-book.
6. What they say – I made my first million in PPC/SEM before I was out of college !
   What they really mean – I still haven’t taken my basic math courses because I spent $3 million on Adwords to make $1 million.
7. What they say – I’m so cool, someone made a cartoon character of me !
   What they really mean – I spent the money my parents sent me for Clearasil pimple creme on Adwords so I couldn’t take a real picture.
8. What they say – PPC Marketing is so super easy !
   What they really mean – Ask my parents about the $9000 per month Google Adwords charges on their credit card.
9. What they say – I make so much money online I dropped out of college !
   What they really mean – I couldn’t afford my tuition this semester because I spent my student loan on Adwords and hydroponic weed and my parents cancelled my credit card.
10. What they say – I’m a Super Affiliate !
    What they really mean – I have bondage mask, leather cape, spandex body suit, latex gloves and a can of Crisco in my dorm room closet to prove it.

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